You Don't Fool Me
by nira07
Summary: When the universe decides that Merlin has to look after a baby on top of fulfilling his destiny, and the knights decide that Merlin and Arthur have dithered long enough, chaos naturally ensues. Looking after a baby under Uther Pendragon's nose wasn't something Merlin imagined he would have to do when he became Arthur's servant, but how to fight off those pesky feelings for him?


**A/N This is set in an AU, set after Morgana has gone "missing" for a year - i.e. after Merlin has poisoned her but before she has gone completely "evil" (so around the beginning of Season 3). Although Uther is king and Arthur is still Prince, he has all of his knights from the round table. Inspired by the Atlantis episode where the trio have to look after a baby.**

* * *

"If this is an intervention, I just want to say I had nothing to do with the vat of wine that went missing," said Merlin nervously, surveying the worried faces of the knights in front of him.

"This isn't an intervention, Merlin," said Arthur, pacing distractedly.

"Besides, everyone knows it was Gwaine that drank all of it," said Elyan, rolling his eyes. Gwaine grinned, and shrugged.

"Like _you_ didn't help him, Elyan," said Percival.

"Enough!" said Arthur. "There are slightly more pressing matters at hand. There's a reason I called you here, Merlin."

Merlin's heart seized. This was it, this was the moment of reckoning. Arthur had put two and two together. It had been one of those rare occasions when Merlin hadn't accompanied Arthur on a ride to the forest with the knights. Gaius had been overwhelmed with treating the recent outbreak of flu in the lower town, and with Arthur only being out for half a day, Merlin had thought it safe enough to let him go without him and accept the day off that Arthur had given him to assist Gaius. Perhaps Arthur had been attacked by bandits, and had noticed the lack of well-timed branches smacking down on them. Perhaps he had connected that to Merlin's absence. Lancelot was not even in the room to defend him. Surely he was being silly, Arthur was not that observant…

As Merlin's thoughts went around in circles, coming up with even more ludicrous ways that Arthur had caught onto the existence of Merlin's magic, he suddenly caught on to the fact that Arthur still hadn't given a reason for calling him here, despite being on his time off. Arthur was still pacing across the room.

"And what is that reason, Arthur?"

It seemed to shake him out of his thoughts, and he stopped in its tracks.

"Well, we were riding and we found… well, I found, and I couldn't just leave it, but my father… it was so cold as well… I couldn't abandon it like nothing had happened…"

"You're not making any sense, Arthur," said Merlin, starting to get worried. From Arthur's incoherent rambles, it seemed like it was nothing to do with Merlin's secret. But what was he talking about? He couldn't leave what behind?

"I think it's better if you just saw for yourself," supplied Elyan helpfully, gesturing to the metal wash basin on the table. Merlin frowned. He poured water in it every morning for Arthur to wash his face in, but it he usually remembered to throw out the water, rinse it through and store it in the antechamber. Arthur would vociferously remind him to put it away if he hadn't, so what was it doing here?

He walked cautiously towards it, his heart thudding irrationally, anxious at what he would find, and peered in.

_What on earth?_

He stared at Arthur, who stared impassively back at him, and looked down again. He didn't know what he had expected to see when he looked, but it certainly wasn't _that_.

Because squirming in the metal basin, was an impossibly small, chubby baby.

Merlin was speechless. He opened his mouth, and closed it again. What did one say in such a situation? He tried again.

"That is a baby," he stated. "There is a baby, here, in a wash basin."

"Yes," said Arthur simply. Nothing - no snarky comment, no sarcastic 'I see that your powers of observation are unrivalled, Merlin', nothing. Merlin was getting worried.

"And, which one of you…" _is the father_? But Merlin could not bring himself to say it. He knew full well what the answer would most likely be. "Which one of you," he started again, "is… is _responsible_ for this baby. Bringing it _here_, so to speak."

"That would be Arthur," said Gwaine, winking.

Merlin's heart sank. Of course, it was Arthur. Half of Camelot was in love with him, and he would have his pick of any woman in the land. And why should he not? He was their darling prince. Merlin wasn't quite sure why he felt so… disappointed. He had always known that he would have to watch from the sidelines, watch as Arthur married a lady, a noble, and raise his children with her, plastering a smile on his face as Arthur cradled a baby in his arms, smiling at his wife, and not at Merlin…

Only he didn't imagine that something like that would happen quite so soon.

"And where, exactly, is the child's mother?" he asked, not quite trusting his voice. Arthur shook his head.

"I don't know."

Merlin raised his eyebrows, concerned. He was about to dive into dangerous waters. "May I ask… _who_ the mother is? I could try and find-"

"I don't know that either," Arthur said dejectedly.

Merlin had not woken up this morning expecting to be _utterly floored_ twice in one day.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN _YOU DON'T KNOW_ WHO THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD IS?" Merlin yelled. He could never have believed that Arthur could be this unconcerned, this callous about his own baby, the lover he took to bed.

"The mother of _my_ child?" asked Arthur, confused. The knights all looked at each other, mirroring the confusion on their faces.

Then Arthur's eyes widened, and he bellowed, "She is not _my_ daughter, you _idiot_. NO! Why would you even think that?"

"Gwaine said _you_ were responsible for.." Merlin shot back.

"No, no, no, Merlin, you've got this all wrong," spoke Arthur in a hurry, the words not spilling out fast enough. The other knights snickered. "The child isn't mine - I found her abandoned in the woods, near the start of the hunt. We waited for a while, but it didn't seem like anyone was coming back to fetch her. We couldn't leave her there, so we brought her back to Camelot."

Arthur paused. "I would never abandon someone that I had… that I'd…. You _really_ think that low of me, Merlin?" he ended with, offended, though there was something a little like hurt as well.

Merlin, in the meantime, felt something akin to giddy relief and utter joy. He was not quite sure why, though he was careful not to let any of that show on his face. Merlin peered down at the baby, wriggling away, and softly ran his finger over her small hand. The baby looked at it curiously, if babies could do such things, and curled a chubby fist around it.

"And what exactly do you plan to do with this baby? How exactly are six inept knights-" (he ignored the chorus of 'Hey!') "-going to take care of a baby?" asked Merlin, now tucking the shawl the baby was in tighter around her with his other hand.

"_We_ aren't," said Arthur emphatically, and something in his voice made Merlin look up at him.

"No, no way," said Merlin, "absolutely not." He shook his head. "What do I know about raising a child?"

"I would expect a damn sight more than - what was it, again – oh yes, 'six inept knights'," said Gwaine slyly.

"I wouldn't be much better," spluttered Merlin. He tried to look for a way out of it, "Why don't you ask Gwen?"

"Because Gwen is Morgana's maid, and if she looked after the baby, then Morgana would know, and no-one outside of the people in this room are to know about the baby. Maybe Gaius, but no-one else," warned Arthur. "Especially not my father."

"Arthur, I cannot work in the castle with a _baby_!" Merlin exclaimed, his voice suspiciously high pitched. "Never mind your father, if the steward found out about this I would be out the door faster than you can say "Boo!"

"I know, but-"

"Even if by some miracle, we weren't found out," Merlin ploughed on, "I cannot be manservant to the Prince _and_ help Gaius with the outbreak of flu _and_ look after a baby. There aren't enough hours in the day, strength in my bones, or pennies in my purse!"

Merlin was milking this for all it was worth. Of course he would be the one to look after the baby. The knights were his friends, but he knew they would be utterly useless with raising a child – this baby needed him if it wanted to survive. Of course, Arthur didn't need to know that just yet. The prat would not get away with foisting all the hard work on him _and_ getting him to do all of his chores.

"Alright, alright-" Arthur began.

Merlin gave it one last push, interrupting him. "In fact, I think I would drop dread of sheer exhaustion within the fortnight, if I had to do all of that, all by myself. The sad thing is, I wouldn't even be paid enough to make it worth my while-"

"Merlin, I swear, you complain more than the fishwives of Mennisport put together! You will, of course, be relieved of your manservant duties while you care for the babe, and-," said Arthur.

"But who will tend to you, Sire?" asked Merlin innocently.

Arthur gritted his teeth. "George will be _more_ than happy to step in." It took all of Merlin's effort to suppress his gleeful smile. Too right George would.

"As for assisting Gaius, Lord Gregory's youngest son has recently taken orders and will have had experience as a physician, so he can be drafted in."

The baby started squalling, and Merlin felt immediately guilty for just letting her lie there in the cold metal basin. What a wretched start this was to life– abandoned in the woods, and then picked up by strange knights and would probably be passed on many more times. The knights started wincing, no doubt she'd bawled all the way home, but Merlin didn't blame her one bit. Merlin lifted the baby carefully up from the basin, making sure to support her neck carefully as he had seen midwives do, and settled her softly in his arms, gently rocking her. He had no idea what he was doing, but he had seen the mothers do it from Ealdor to settle their children, and hoped she would calm down.

"So you'll do it, then?" asked Arthur, sounding hopeful. The baby grizzled, but to Merlin's amazement, she settled down, clutching his neckerchief.

Merlin raised an eyebrow in what he hoped was a successful imitation of Gaius. "You're giving me a choice, are you?"

"_Mer_lin."

"Yes, I'll do it." Arthur grinned. "I still want that pay raise," added Merlin.

"Of course, of course," Arthur waved an imperious hand, rolling his eyes. Merlin would have done it without, but again, Arthur really did not need to know that.

There was a knock at the door. Gwaine, Elyan and Percival all put their hands to the hilt of their swords, and Arthur stepped swiftly in front of Merlin, who had clutched the baby closer to him.

"It is Leon and Lancelot, Sire. We have the things you requested."

All the tension went out of the room, as the two knights entered the room, carrying between them a cradle and stacks of fabric, and some chests.

"My things from when I was a baby," explained Arthur, as the others set to help them with the load.

Lancelot lightly clapped a hand on Merlin's shoulders. "So I take it you've agreed to the look after the baby." Merlin smiled, and Arthur tried to clamp down the irrational wave of jealousy that surged through him. Lancelot and Merlin were good friends, which did not come close to the friendship that he and Merlin shared. This jealously was irrational, he knew, but he couldn't help it.

"Hmm, I don't think "agree" really is the word to use here, Lancelot," said Merlin, though there was not hardness in his voice. His eyes were trained on the baby, clutching his neckerchief. Merlin's mind immediately thought about the mother that had abandoned the child. What must she have been going through, to leave such a tiny infant undefended in the forest? Perhaps the child was born out of wedlock, to a mother far too young, a pariah if she kept the child. Perhaps she was taken advantage of by a wandering, debauched noble. Maybe the babe's father had to leave, like Merlin's own, and the mother could not bear to take the child on its own. Maybe her mother was dead.

Merlin clutched the baby closer to him, and gently touched his knuckle to the babe's cheek. She was fast asleep, but he knew it wouldn't last too long. Arthur came over to him as the knights carried over the chests and wrenched them open with their swords.

He murmured softly in Merlin's ear, "You might have fooled them, Merlin, but you don't fool me. You were going to take care of that baby the minute you clapped eyes on her." Of course he would, thought Arthur. Merlin's heart bled for any innocent, vulnerable thing and this time was no exception. He looked at Merlin, smiling sadly at the child, with his finger enclosed in her fist, and Arthur knew that what he felt would never go away. He didn't want them to go away. The emotions he had put a name to only a few weeks ago had been there from the start, and that longing in his chest only intensified as Merlin looked up at him, a cheeky grin tugging at his mouth, and his insolent, mischievous eyes looking wickedly at him.

So Arthur _had_ caught on.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come off it, look, you're already besotted," Arthur nodded his head to the baby.

"You're being ridiculous. Gwaine, write this down. We're going to need swaddling cloths, 3, no, make that 4 yards of …"

* * *

"Merlin, _why_ are you carrying a baby?"

That voice. That voice of doom. Merlin didn't even have to turn aside to see the look of disapproval on Gaius's face, that eyebrow magnificently arched in all of its reproving glory, the set of his mouth asking the indeterminate forces of the world what mess Merlin had tangled himself up in this time, and how Gaius was going to help him get out of it.

"Well?"

Merlin sat on the bench at Gaius's worktable, and explained what Arthur and the other knights had told him.

"Merlin, you do understand that the king cannot know this baby is in the castle. If he sees you with it, he is going to think one of two things, and he will not listen long enough to hear your explanation. He is going to think that this child is either Arthur's illegitimate baby, in which case he will seize it from you and drown it at the bottom of a lake-" Gaius did not stop at Merlin's horrified cry-" or he will think it is yours, in which case the baby would not be killed, but you will be thrown out of the castle without a job or a penny and saddled with another mouth to feed."

"Surely he wouldn't drown a _baby_?" but Merlin trailed off. Of course he would, if she threatened the line of succession to Camelot's hard won throne of Camelot. This was a man who had burned entire families if even one of them had the barest hint of magic. Children were not spared – how many innocents had died watching their parents burn at the stake, knowing they were to be next, to "protect" his kingdom? No, anything that presented a threat to the throne would be eliminated.

Merlin gazed worriedly at the child in his arms, he knew that he would do whatever it took to protect her.

Now he just needed to figure out how he, a manservant with absolutely no experience, would look after a baby, and keep it secret in the home of the most powerful man in the five kingdoms.

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**A/N I hope you liked this - update will be coming soon. Let me know if you have any comments or questions and I'll be sure to answer them. This is mostly Merlin's POV, but we'll get more of Arthur's perspective and how he found the baby in the next chapters. Any suggestions for what she should be called?**


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